TESTING

we don't control life. God does.  when something happens and winds change; we have no control and sometimes you really just have to experience pain and suffering.  I hate being weak and being in pain but sometimes you have to experience that to realize many things.  I am still in progress and I am really that motivated to move on and again be 'somebody' .  I want to be happy and not waste my time crying or being emotional but maybe God wants me to find myself in this state of mine. He wants me to suffer.  He wants me to feel weak. He wants me to be in the situation I am in. I have always been a selfless person (I think).  I want to please other people, I find happiness when i see other people happy because of me. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to find happiness with myself.  I'm not really sure how, because I do find material happiness not really lasting that long. God will give me something.    

For a life that's pretty uncertain right now, i realize that looking forward to "plans" will make me move or look forward. It's an ironic thing as originally the reason i was happy and looking forward was the uncertainty but now due to a broken heart then it is a totally different thing. June is the month to be back and look for myself and bring myself back. I may br in pain but i know i will be better July ia my recharge month despite going home just over the weekend. Family is the best August my bros in SG fun Sep malaysia w bros Oct going home again

so the process of breaking up is about learning, and growing from your mistakes.. 2 key information provided to me that became an 'issue' a. indecisiveness and being dependent - upon analysis, i attribute it to growing up in a culture wherein we rely to our parents on decisions. Usually they decide for us and they're the ones who always has to be followed. - This i believe is a growth and development trait that i can work on and have to work on.  Despite the harsh emotional troubles i'm going through; after all this, I know that i'll be a better person and I hope to bring my mojo back.   Given the situation on where I am, I really have no choice but to develop in this aspect b. forgetful - this is something that is pretty hard.  I know i'm smart, within the siblings i know i'm most capable to handle data on my head. And yet, genetically i'm the same with my parents.   really really bad memory. not even into details. - i guess i'll work on this as wel

This is so far what i've classified. Obviously this is not based on real facts or no factual basis.  All based on my experience and personality.. Again whether you fall into category a or b. It doesn't really imply that you have a negative or a positive trait.  Both have its shares of pros and cons. a. selfish - is somebody who thinks about himself/herself and his/her well being... he/she wants to be happy. he/she knows what they want. They will do anything to achieve that b. selfless - people who find happiness with other people. he/.she finds happiness through other people and will give anything that will provide that. Values other people more than themself thus other people are more important than this person

she doesn't like me she doesn't love me she's not happy with me anymore oh well.. life is life. time will tell. i'll be better. not necessarily for her. but for myself, and for my friends, and most importantly for my family.

she initiated kissing me on the cheek she wants to see me if yoga when we're together, i'm happy she wants to buy me ipad2 she pays for everything i eat or like she fetched me from the airport she called me when i asked her if she can so i can kwento